#270°

 “I’ve birthed a thousand screaming newborns,” says one of Oklahoma City’s foremost baby docs.  “Most come out head-first, or ass-first – but only one has ever come out side first – and that’d be Eileen Left.”  From the moment her port side first touched open air, Eileen has always been anything but… well, right.  As a child, she learned to hold one eye shut in order to walk a straight line. She crossed the Red River as soon as she could, keeping a right-hand pull on the wheel in order to keep from swerving into oncoming traffic.  And then there’s politics – where Eileen’s left-leanings would make Hoffman & Leary look like Darth & W.  “All of that is true,” says Eileen (who’s official team number – 270o – points her due west).  “Everything in my left-leaning life has led up to derby – a place where I can lean over and roll in a constant counter-clockwise circle – which, for me, is straight anyway.”  About all that’s left to say about Lone Star Assassin Eileen is, there seems to be something completely right about that.